what to do with Mike Newton
by jealousofbella12
Summary: what happens when a note about the cullens ends up in the hands of Mike Newton. Funny.
1. Chapter 1

Biology

**Okay, so this is my first fan fic! Whoo! Tell me what you think! **

Biology. Blech. Could this be any more boring? I decided that since we were watching a movie, to write a little note.

_So…whatcha doin today after school?_

I slid the note over to the love of my life. He chuckled, but wrote back anyway.

I thought I would take this girl, whom I call Bella, my wife, and maybe do some naughty things tonight with her. 

_Ooh. That sounds like fun. But don't you think that she will be afraid of the 'big bad vampire'?_

Oh, I don't think she'll mind, seeing as it will be after we go hunting.

He gave me a crooked smile. If my heart were still beating, it would've stopped cold.

_Oh, I didn't know you felt that way about her… wait. Are you saying you are going to hunt her first?_

I wrote with a smile.

No, silly! I mean that Bella and I are going to go hunting together first. 

_Ooh! I see now. __**:**__ ) _

The lights turned on, suddenly interrupted us. The teacher could tell that that none of the students had paid attention.

"Bella. What was the subject of that movie?" the teacher asked suddenly.

Luckily, with my photographic memory, I had seen the title. "It was about how to split an atom."

"Lucky guess" he mumbled, but Edward and I heard it perfectly and started chuckling.

I grabbed the note and stuffed it into my binder. The bell rang and everyone got up.

I didn't notice that the note had fallen out, and that that annoying Mike Newton picked it up. Your probably thinking, Oh crap. Your right.

**This is the first chapter. What do you think? Review and let me know! : ) **


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N-we are going to pretend that bella is a vampire already

**(A/N-we are going to pretend that bella is a vampire already.)**

**Mike's pov**

I picked up the piece of paper that Bella dropped, and read it. What did she mean by vampire? She couldn't be serious. It must be and inside joke, right? Let's hope so. And what did Edward mean when he called Bella his wife. Oh my god. What was I going to do if it was true? What if Bella is a vampire too, I mean, if this is true. Oh dear god. I would have to talk to them about this.

I caught up to then at Edward's car.

"Hey, Bella! You dropped this on your way out of biology. I hope you don't mind if I read it.

I couldn't help but think that bella thought that this wasn't good. Maybe I could blackmail her into going out with me with this! Wow, this was definitely working out in my favor. She would be eating out of the palm of my hand.

She looked confused, but then I showed her the note, and she read it and laughed.

"oh, this thing?"

"Yeah, do you care to explain?"

"Explain what?" She looked confused. Edward, who was now standing by her, read it, and said, "What is there to explain?"

"How you call him a vampire." They looked at each other and laughed. This was not working. "Come on, it has to be true. You never eat at lunch, you are really pale, suddenly Bella doesn't hit herself with rackets in gym, and you guys are always together, like a married couple. There is no other explanation."

Edward leaned in. "So what if we were vampires? What would you do about it? We could just drink your blood before you told anyone, so what to do. Hmm." Oh, I wasn't expecting them to threaten to eat me. This was not working out.

"just tell me, Is it true?"

"if we tell you, we'd have to kill you."

"uh, maybe I don't wanna know…"

**sorry about the cliff, but I don't know what to do with mike! Give me suggestions, please.** **:) **


	3. author's note

Hey

**Hey! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have been at camp, then I got back, but we went out to the land we now, and I went walking through the woods wearing shorts (silly me) and turns out that I am allergic to certain plants! I ended up getting hives, and they just went away earlier today. I will update soon! **


	4. Chapter three SORRY, REALLY SHORT

Chapter three, I think

**Chapter three, I think.**

**AN: this chapter is short, but at least it's an update, right?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. I wish I was more creative and could come up with those little funny disclaimers like some people have. But, as you can see by my story, I am not very clever/creative. **

Last chapter: "Maybe I don't wanna know…"

**BPOV**

"Ok, then we won't tell you. I replied.

"No! I wanna know!" He said

"Fine! Think what you want to think!" And with that I turned and left, Edward hot on my trail.

**BELLA & EDWARD & BELLA & EDWARD**

**Later, MPOV**

I really thought that they were vampires. Oh, this is so stupid! There is no such thing. Well, just in case. That's it! I am taking the stuff to protect me to school.

((Next morning))

I feel so STUPID! God! Why did I talk myself into this? So here I am, standing in the hall, garlic around my neck, a wooden stake in my backpack, and everyone is laughing. Oh well. We'll see who's laughing when they're all dead!

"Dude, what are you doing?" asks Tyler.

"Duh. The Cullens are vampires, and I am just trying to protect myself, GOD!"

"Right…"

"Whatever. You won't feel that way when you're dead!" I yelled as he walked away.

I see the Cullens all together waling into the building. "hey! Betcha you can't eat me now!" They just laugh. They don't even seen like the garlic is bothering them. They are _good._

"Mike, what are you talking about? It's not like we're… vampires! Alice said while showing all her pearly white teeth. They looked sharp. I shivered involuntary

"Whatever keep telling yourself that." I said walking away." They were so gonna be mad when I tell their secret to the _whole_ school. Now I just have to get people to believe me.

**AN: ok, sorry I haven't updated in a really long time. I've just been so busy. I promise that I will update as soon as I can. Sorry that this chapter is so short. I will try to make the next one longer.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: YAY!!! I'M BACK!!! Ok, I have no good excuse of why I haven't updated. =[ I no, you all must hate me now. Well, I hope I can make it up to you. I have this idea for a story, but now I think it wounds like other people's ideas. Oh well. I'm gonna write it, and I'm NOT stealing anyone's ideas…at least, not on pourpose…**

**Last Chapter: They were so gonna be mad when I tell their secret to the **_**whole**_** school. Now I just have to get people to believe me.**

**MPOV:**

Ok, this is going to be difficult… how am I going to get people to believe me? I wish they would just move away. God, I was here first.

**BPOV:**

WOW! Everyone is walking past us telling us that Mike is saying we're vampires. It's so funny that the only person stupid enough to believe him is Jessica Stanley, and she told me it's just so he will ask her out. Wow, that girl is desperate.

**BELLA AND EDWARD AND BELLA AND EDWARD **

**MPOV:**

It has been a week and the only person that believes me is Jessica Stanley. God, I so hope the Cullens don't kill everyone so I'm stuck with_ her. _That would be a_ nightmare. _GOD!

**BPOV:**

Ok! Today is the Day! I'm going to Erase Mikes Memory! ((in my story, that is her power))

**Bella walks up to Mike and puts a hand over his eyes. He passes out and Edward puts him in the volvo, they take him to his house and puts him in his bed**

***NEXT MORNING***

**MPOV:**

Ok, today something is up. Everyone keeps laughing at me! What, do I have something in my teeth? God! "Hey, Tyler, what's goin' on with everyone?"

"Ha, where's your garlic today?"

What? What the heck does he mean by that?

"Hey, Eric, why is everyone laughing at me?"

"Because you're stupid enough to wear garlic and tell everyone that the Cullens are vampires."

"What? I'm not stupid enough to do that!"

"…Ok dude. Whatever."

Ok. Everyone is just messed up…This is gonna be a _long _day.

**OK, SO THIS IS THE END! TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THINK. YA, I KNOW THAT IT'S PRETTY SHORT. OH WELL, THE NEXT STORY I WRITE WILL (HOPEFULLY) BE LONGER.**


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